guz blogs abt how hes scared of getting old and how his life sucks for the 1000th time

long time no blogging huh

well so far school is still ass, people still suck but ive found some people who suck alot less so thats nice.. my boyfriend turned 18 back in october so yay, ive got another few months until im crippled by the fear of having to make money to keep myself alive, he doesnt tho hes got some kind of special job thing secured, lucky him. i have to get my hair cut soon too so i might get it dyed the same red thats on my profile again, but i really dont know how short i want it and i really just dont wanna think abt it...

i hate winter in this country, and just in general, my bus home is always late so its dark by the time i get home at 5 pm, its also fucking freezing all the time, i dont wear my school jumper cus of sensory shit so im just left to freeze to death ig, ive got company at the bus stop now tho, not sure if i enjoy being around him but hes nice and kinda gross funny so i get along w/ him. beggars cant be choosers ig, i wanted friends so ig i cant complain, i still only talk to like... 3 people including my own boyfriend... that sounds sadder than i wanted it to sound huh

i started drawing again too, my anatomy is getting better but i still cant ever make something i like, its been like 3 years since i actually liked my art or been confident in it, ive just opted for doodling on mspaint and on my copies. im also doing shit with wires in computers n thats fun. m also trying to learn html but i hate it, ive a friend who works on websites as his job n i feel so inferior to him in so many ways its nuts its really killing my will to do anything but watch, especially when im ment to work alongside him for things, hes cool, i really like being around him but like... damn man... im meant to paint his nails some time so i hope that can help me feel better being around him...

oh yeah shit and my school got sent a fake threat n armed gardi showed up n i had a panic attack in the park near my school cus we were all sure it was ment to be a bomb threat

damn do i ever have good news uhhhh... i got into EVABOY ig, i started listening to more music too, more than just the stuff i recognise, i really dont have good news this month other than that n my boyfriend being an adult now... i guess i also kinda sorta figured out i might be polyamourous?? i mean only from judging from past stuff, ive no real eyes for anyone but my boyfriend atm... uhhhhh what fucking else???? nah i got nothing, who knew complaining was easier than not huh