My name is Craig Tucker. Last week was my birthday, my grandma gave me a check for 100 dollars. I was so happy. But then, 4 kids from my school came to my house, and said I should use my 100 dollars to invest in becoming a Peruvian flute band. they promised I would double my money in one afternoon. But the government arrested us, along with all the other Peruvian flute bands, and took us to an internment camp in Miami. We begged to go home, but instead the government told us they were sending us to Peru. And so that is why I'm now in Peru. if I die let it be known it is because of 4 guys I don't even like from my school lied to me and took my birthday money.

(this is a parody account. Craig Tucker belongs to the creators of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker.)

Not those 4 kids I don’t like from my school that stole my birthday money.