im BALD now

sorry for the long gaps between posts, no clue what to write about anymore

i got a haircut and showed my barber this photo of me from september hoping they would do me right like they did last time and get my hair how I wanted it, but they didnt :(. THEY CUT SO MUCH OFF, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! For reference, my hair usually goes down to about my shoulders with layers in the front going down to about my cheekbones (would post a reference photo but my hair isn't a specific style so i don't know what it's called to look up reference photos, and im not gonna dox myself) and my hair is now down to about my mid neck and the front layer is up to my eyebrows. I look like I did back 2 years ago when I had shit ass hair and wasn't a great person, like ugggghhhhhh. AND NOW I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL! BALD! AH!!!! I HATE IT!!!! I showed my new haircut to my friends and they said it wasnt that bad and if i stare in the mirror long enough and cope really hard while also setting my hair just perfectly than i guess its okay but like, i feel so bald. like immediately after the haircut before my hair had fully dried and gone back to normal I ran my fingers through my hair and felt the hair stop so much earlier than I expected it to and I just about had a panic attack (got mildly concerned looking in the barbers chair but i was losing it in my head). When I got home and looked in the mirror and messed with my hair some more I shed a tear dude it was like watching a field of flowers get bombed, my hair was not even that bad before so I barely had any reason to get it cut and i regret it so much.

on the bright side, the way my layers and stuff were cut means that once it grows out i know my hair is going to look BOMB but that also means that for the next 2 weeks (or however long it takes for my hair to go back to more-normal) im gonna be scared of being in public cause i feel so bald. my hair is my #1 favorite physical aspect about myself i take very good care of it and take pride in my hair cause I like my general style and so watching it go from a little below peak of where my hair has ever been to back to evil me is gonna drive me insane. Also luckily for me, when I showed it to my friends over a video call, they said it "isn't even that bad" so maybe im just over reacting and panicking, but i dread going to school im gonna be like paranoid that everyone is staring at my hair and talking about how bad it is.

Moral of the story: If you go bald you can't ever have a bad haircut, so just shave all your hair off and save yourself the troubles.

secret sub-update

currently im obsessed with older silverstein ("When Broken Is Easily Fixed" and "Discovering The Waterfront" are so good I added every song from both of them to my playlist) p!atd (only "A fever you can't sweat out") and I'm also getting into more 3rd wave emo and pop-punk stuff which has been great especially cause I liked a lot of this music when I was way younger and so getting into it now again way more in depth than the little bit I liked as a kid feels like coming full circle to peak (my opinions on what music is my favorite will completely change in about 5 months or so)

also i've been playing a ton of Detroit Become Human recently and its also so peak I love it, it's been sitting in my library for a minute but I've never gotten around to playing it and now I can't stop. I completely avoided all content on it when it initially came out and since because I didn't want to spoil it for myself and I think that's like the greatest decision I've ever made because getting to experience the story for the first time completely blind has been so amazing and I just started my second playthrough and I'm gonna correct what I did wrong and also try to not have markus be as evil as he was the first time around. i may drop a longer blog about this with some spoilers, but I've said that about 10 other topics that I'll never get around to writing about so consider that part of the backlog.

I wrote this to procrastinate doing homework and that was a stupid idea, I have quite a bit of homework due tomorrow.